So I have been hearing from several sources that people within the class feel attacked and feel like we are attacking the white race and this upsets them or makes them feel uncomfortable. I can assure you that I do not believe that I have attacked any of the white members of our class. I just think it is hard to hear the truth sometimes. The truth hurts. And truthfully minorities don't always have the sweetest view of the white people around them. If you were reminded everyday how different you are from someone and made to feel less the others, you would understand where we are coming from. Like some of us said earlier, when you speak, it's not for every white person at Rhodes, it's just for you. But it isn't like that for us.
Another piece of the pie is that we were just raised differently. White people have been raised to believe that you can do anything and that everyone is equal and that everything is fine when it isn't. My mother has always been truthful with me about the inequities that my brothers and I would face. It hasn't always felt good, but it was good to know that she was trying to prepare me so that I would be able to be as successful as I could be. I mean some things are ingrained in us that makes us who we are.Our parents and peers give us subtle cues on how to act in situations and I'm sure that your parents have given you cues that wouldn't be too politically correct, but they're unconscious so you don't know you're doing it until someone corrects you. And this class is here to correct you.
I don't have a problem if people tell me what I am doing is wrong. Actually I would prefer it that you point out my flaws. White people have flaws. Black people have flaws. There are very few things you can say to a black person by the time they have hit 21 that will truly offend them because I have heard it all before. I think people are feeling attacked in the classroom because they have never had someone of a different race and tell them how they look to others. Like I said earlier it hurts, but you need to hear it.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
This was from Amanda earlier this morning...
As for the question of whether the White members of the class are being attacked, as a White member, I haven't really felt outright attacked. Sometimes I feel judged -even by other White classmates- but don't most of us feel judged sometimes? I've recently begun to feel most self-conscious after the first class discussion on emotion. As I spoke, I looked around the room and saw a bunch of eye-rolls, shrugs, smirks, and so forth. I knew that my view of emotion was different than most, but it was just hard to see overt disrespect of my perspective. After that, I shut down a little. I imagine that to some degree I overreacted or was oversensitive (as an emotional person can often be), but some of the reactions were undoubtedly negative and judgemental. And I'll mention that yes, some came from African American members of the class, but a few also came from white members.
In response to the particular comment about Whites needing to be corrected and have their flaws pointed out, I want to make it clear that not all people of my ethnicity have problems with this. Yes, having flaws pointed out in public is embarassing and usually uncomfortable, but it's not something I wish didn't happen. I do wish I was more in control of my emotions, and wouldn't get so sensitive about them. But that's something that will take a lot of time for me.
After this post, I'm thinking more about earlier comments in the "Class so far..." section concerning people who talk just to talk. I can imagine that some of the classmates might put me in this category. I want to apologize if that's how I come off. I do talk a lot, and sometimes I don't make sense. But, I am listening. I promise that I will try to do a better job making this clear. I cannot promise, however, to stop talking. I talk when I think I have something interesting or important or relevant to bring up, whether or not it is interesting, important, or relevant to the rest of the class. I don't just slink back in my chair out of fear of speaking, which I think is worse. I think that different people in the class value different types of contributions to discussion, and it seems impossible to hope that every comment could be valued, especially if some are viewed as "class appropriate" or "babbling." I can only try to be more sensitive to the comments of others and their perceptions of my comments.
I know this blog has been kind of long, so I'm sorry. I've just been checking it and thinking about all the things I wanted to bring up since yesterday. To finish up, I think that even though class has been hard at times (at least for me), it has helped me. Has it really not helped anyone else? I think it's important that we're continuing discussion outside of class time, especially for those of us who need to be anonymous. I know that anonymity can seem weak to some people, but topics like this aren't easy for everyone. I can respect someone who speaks anonymously (if it's not purely attacks on other people), as long as they can eventually get to the point where they feel comfortable enough to reveal their identity. Hopefully, we can get back to where we were in the beginning of the semester and progress even further. And, just to be clear, that was a genuine response, not just something that I think is a good class response.
From Morgan...
I understand that it can be frustrating if you are in a relationship where you are open and others are not, but making them feel bad because you are frustrated is not going to get them to open up any quicker. We can have a meaningful relationship among those of us who are open and then hopefully those who have not opened up as much will see how our relationship works and will feel more comfortable and safe to open up.
its hard for everyone to get to say everything they want in the amount of time allowed. That is the ONLY reason why I don’t bring up issues sometimes- because of lack of adequate time to talk about it. I don’t want to bring something up and then not be able to explain myself. I feel like that might offend people sometimes. Otherwise, I feel as if I have been very open. I shared with the class (and the visitors of the class that day) that I didn’t cry at my own mother’s funeral. That was embarrassing for me and the fact that my mother died when I was 14 is something very personal that has deeply affected my life. Since my mothers death I have lived with 7 different families (ranging from dirt poor where we would eat beans for dinner every night to upper class when I lived with my friends family who were millionaires) and I've oscillated between being a "good girl" and a "bad girl" so because of that I feel like I have a very unique view to bring to the table. However, I just don’t know how many people will understand that. I feel as if I am misunderstood in class a lot even though I choose my words very carefully and try my best not to be misunderstood.
Another concern I have is I want to trust 100% that if I do or say something in class that rubs someone the wrong way, offends them, or makes them feel bad in any way I want that person to come and talk to me about it. Or email, or contact me in some form. I would like the opportunity to understand from another person’s point of view why I offended them so I could hopefully learn from the situation. No one has talked to me outside of class about this so I can only assume that I personally have not ever offended someone in this class; however, the fact that we even have this blog suggests that someone in this class is upset or offended. I would like to know why.
I feel like I try to hard to understand others point of views in the class and I do not feel as if others are trying as hard to understand as I am. This frustrates me.
Okay now I can post! Thanks Alanna and sorry that I created an email-flooding when I couldn't figure this whole thing out.
Post a Comment